Dating, Domestic and Sexual Violence
Dating, domestic and sexual violence can jeopardize the mental, physical and emotional well-being of a person and a community. Our goal is to provide Mount Royal University members with a safe and supportive environment to learn, live, and work by providing specialized support and education.
Get support
Specialized, trauma-informed support is available for anyone who has been impacted by dating, domestic and sexual violence. An Advocate can provide confidential information, support, safety planning, advocacy and discuss on- and off-campus reporting options that are available.
Contact the Dating, Domestic & Sexual Violence Response and Awareness Coordinator, Cari Ionson at cionson@mtroyal.ca if you require advocacy.
Workshops and webinars
Fundamental to preventing dating, domestic and sexual violence is education. We deliver workshops, guest lectures, training and events to the community at Mount Royal University.
Resources
Access online resources related to dating, domestic and sexual violence.
Make a report
If you choose to report, there are different options available and many factors to consider.
A support advocate can assist you in understanding each option so that you can make an informed decision and if you choose, submit the report. This is a separate process to a criminal report.
If you would like to report to the police, there are a few different options:
- You or a support person can phone the Calgary Police Service: 403.266.1234 and a Constable can come to where you are to take the report.
- You can go to your local district office and make a report. If the district is particularly busy they may not be able to take the report at that moment. It is possible to schedule an appointment at your local district online. Go to the Calgary Police Service website and select 'Schedule Your Appointment'.
- With an MRU Advocate, you can phone CPS and have a Constable come to the MRU campus where you can make the report in a private location.
The reporting process
There is no guarantee that a criminal report will lead to charges, a trial or a guilty finding, even though you know they are.
Within the initial reporting process, the police officer will take your statement. Often they will ask you to tell them what happened as you remember it and then they will ask clarifying questions. The officers will want to make sure they have as many details as possible, so at times these questions may feel very personal; however, these details are necessary to complete a proper investigation. They may ask for a written statement as well. They will provide you with the means to do this written statement, however, if you had previously written out a statement and wished to provide this to the officers you can as well. Throughout making this report, you can take breaks at any time.
The report that you make will be given a file number. Keep the file number and the name and badge number of the constable in your records so that if you wish to inquire about the report the police can easily locate it within the system.
Academic accommodations
For some people who have been affected by dating, domestic or sexual violence, they may require academic accommodations as they continue with their courses.
Accommodations can be flexible, but could look like:
- withdrawing with cause from a course
- getting an extension on an assignment
- receiving an excused absence
- switching sections of a class
Accommodations can be accessed through an Advocate. Book an appointment.
Policy and procedures
Mount Royal University condemns all acts of violence. Because of the unacceptable prevalence of gender-based violence, we take a strong and explicit position against dating, domestic and sexual violence. View our policies and procedures.
Protection of privacy
Personal information provided is collected in accordance with Section 33(c) of the Alberta Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act (the FOIP Act) and will be protected under the Act. It will be used for the purpose of fulfilling the duties of the support advocate and capturing aggregate (non-identifiable) statistical information concerning service use for the evaluation of programs.
Collected personal information is protected from unauthorized access, collection, use, and disclosure in accordance with the FOIP Act and can be reviewed upon request subject to the provisions under the Act.
Should you require further information about the collection, use and disclosure of personal information, please contact: Information Management & Privacy Advisor- University Secretariat - Mount Royal University - 4825 Mount Royal Gate SW, Calgary AB, T3E 6K6 - (403) 440-7288 - foip@mtroyal.ca
Support resources and information
Ensure safety and that your friend has a safe place to stay. If there is immediate danger, phone the police 911 or campus security 403.440.5900.
Some key messages that can be helpful are:
- I believe you
- This was not your fault
- You have the right to set your own limits in any relationship
- I am here to listen
- You are not to blame for someone else's behaviour
- Violence is never okay or justifiable
Things to avoid:
- Do not point out things that they could have done differently to prevent the assault or abuse from happening
- Do not question why they did or did not do certain things
- Do not ask that they tell you what happened
- Do not give advice
Beyond the Cliff | A TED Talk delivered by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky on caring for yourself while caring for others who are managing the impacts of trauma.
Dating, domestic and sexual violence can be a traumatic experience. It is common to be affected academically and within work. You may notice a range of physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual impacts. There is no right or wrong way to feel and recovery takes time.
What can you do to heal?
If and when you are ready, reach out and get support emotionally. Many find talking to others helpful. A support advocate is here to listen and discuss referrals and resources.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care is extremely important when coping with trauma. It is important to find ways that support and soothe yourself.
Some strategies for self-care include:
- Drinking water
- Eating healthy
- Spending time with friends you trust
- Sleeping
- Colouring
- Listening to music
- Exercise
Methods of Self-Care
Wellness services also offer a series of workshops to bolster your self-care strategies.
Self-Care resources:
- Self-Care is Not Optional – Marcia Baczynski
- 4 Ways to Overcome Self-Blame After a Sexual Assault – Sian Ferguson
- A Toolkit for Survivors During COVID-19
It is also important to remember that abuse is never okay and it is the responsibility of the person who is causing harm to stop using abusive behaviours. If you are wanting support in creating a personalized safety plan, help is available:
- Book an appointment with an MRU Dating, Domestic, and Sexual Violence Support Advocate
- Family Violence Info Line | 403.310.1818
- Family Violence Helpline | 403.234.7233
Because everyone’s situation is different, there is no one size fits all safety plan. Things to consider include:
1. Identifying a Safe(r) Place
A safe place is somewhere that you (and your children) can go if there is a violent episode within the home where you are safe or safer. This could be a certain room in the home, or a neighbour, friend or family member’s place that you can go to.
2. Creating a Safety Pack
A safety pack is a bag that you can grab if you need to flee quickly. It includes necessities, such as; a change of clothes, important documentation and money.
3, Safety Planning While Living with an Abusive Partner
Identify places in the home that are safer- where there are no weapons or objects that can be used as weapons and there is access to an exit if you need to leave.
- If there are any children in the home, teach them to get out of the room where the abuse is occurring and to call 911 out of view of the person causing harm.
- If you drive, habitually back into your parking space.
- If you create a safety pack, hide it well, as knowledge of a safety pack will alert the abuser and put you in danger.
4. Safety Planning While Leaving
- You can request support from the police, as well as local support services
- Make a plan for what documents, and personally significant items that you want to take with you.
- Consider taking half of the shared funds with you, open a separate bank account, and put them in there. Document your spending if you are asked about it at a later date.
- Consider applying for a protection order (such as a Restraining Order or an Emergency Protection Order)
- Leaving an abusive relationship is statistically a time when people are more at risk for the violence to escalate.
5, Safety Planning if Left and Abusive Relationship
- If necessary, change your phone number and keep it on a private setting
- Vary your daily routine; where you shop, walk and spend time
- If possible, enhance the security of your home; change locks, install motion-detecting lights, ensure windows have locks, install security systems.
- Consider the pros and cons of informing your employer and having them engaged in your safety plan. The Occupational Health and Safety Act is meant to provide protection to workers who are survivors of domestic violence; however, this does not guarantee that you will not face discrimination as a result of disclosing.
- Save and document any contact with former partner
- If you have to meet your former partner do so in a public setting