If you choose to report, there are different options available and many factors to consider.

A support advocate can assist you in understanding each option so that you can make an informed decision and if you choose, submit the report. This is a separate process to a criminal report. 

Book an appointment with an advocate.

It is never too late to report sexual assault to the police. It is normal to take some time to consider if reporting to the police is the right option for you. For more information about reporting to the police, book an appointment with an advocate.

If you would like to report to the police, there are a few different options:

1. You or a support person can phone the Calgary Police Service: 403.266.1234 and a Constable can come to where you are to take the report.
2. You can go to your local district office and make a report. If the district is particularly busy they may not be able to take the report at that moment. It is possible to schedule an appointment at your local district online. Go to the Calgary Police Service website and select 'Schedule Your Appointment'.
3. With an MRU Advocate, you can phone CPS and have a Constable come to the MRU campus where you can make the report in a private location.

 

The reporting process

There is no guarantee that a criminal report will lead to charges, a trial or a guilty finding, even though you know they are.

Within the initial reporting process, the police officer will take your statement. Often they will ask you to tell them what happened as you remember it and then they will ask clarifying questions. The officers will want to make sure they have as many details as possible, so at times these questions may feel very personal; however, these details are necessary to complete a proper investigation. They may ask for a written statement as well. They will provide you with the means to do this written statement, however, if you had previously written out a statement and wished to provide this to the officers you can as well. Throughout making this report, you can take breaks at any time.

The report that you make will be given a file number. Keep the file number and the name and badge number of the constable in your records so that if you wish to inquire about the report the police can easily locate it within the system.

Ensure safety and that your friend has a safe place to stay. If there is immediate danger, phone the police 911 or campus security 403.440.5900.

Some key messages that can be helpful are:

• I believe you
• This was not your fault
• You have the right to set your own limits in any relationship
• I am here to listen
• You are not to blame for someone else's behaviour
• Violence is never okay or justifiable

Things to avoid:

• Do not point out things that they could have done differently to prevent the assault or abuse from happening
• Do not question why they did or did not do certain things
• Do not ask that they tell you what happened
• Do not give advice

Offer options about what resources are available (see support options on this webpage). Take care of yourself. It can be very difficult to hear that someone that you care about has been hurt or abused. After receiving a disclosure and supporting, check-in with how you are feeling and what you might be needing to support yourself.

Beyond the Cliff | A TED Talk delivered by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky on caring for yourself while caring for others who are managing the impacts of trauma.

Dating, domestic and sexual violence can be a traumatic experience. It is common to be affected academically and within work. You may notice a range of physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual impacts. There is no right or wrong way to feel and recovery takes time.

What can you do to heal?

If and when you are ready, reach out and get support emotionally. Many find talking to others helpful. A support advocate is here to listen and discuss referrals and resources.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is extremely important when coping with trauma. It is important to find ways that support and soothe yourself.

Some strategies for self-care include:

• Drinking water
• Eating healthy
• Spending time with friends you trust
• Sleeping
• Colouring
• Listening to music
• Exercise

Methods of Self-Care

Wellness services also offer a series of workshops to bolster your self-care strategies.

Self-Care resources:

• Self-Care is Not Optional – Marcia Baczynski
• 4 Ways to Overcome Self-Blame After a Sexual Assault – Sian Ferguson
• A Toolkit for Survivors During COVID-19

What is a Safety Plan? A safety plan is a plan that you create to keep you and your family as safe as possible during, while leaving, and after an abusive relationship. A safety plan is meant to consider what risk factors exist and try to mitigate those risk factors.

It is also important to remember that abuse is never okay and it is the responsibility of the person who is causing harm to stop using abusive behaviours. If you are wanting support in creating a personalized safety plan, help is available:

• Book an appointment with an MRU Dating, Domestic, and Sexual Violence Support Advocate
• Family Violence Info Line | 403.310.1818
• Family Violence Helpline | 403.234.7233

Because everyone’s situation is different, there is no one size fits all safety plan. Things to consider include:

1. Identifying a Safe(r) Place
A safe place is somewhere that you (and your children) can go if there is a violent episode within the home where you are safe or safer. This could be a certain room in the home, or a neighbour, friend or family member’s place that you can go to.

2. Creating a Safety Pack
A safety pack is a bag that you can grab if you need to flee quickly. It includes necessities, such as; a change of clothes, important documentation and money.

3, Safety Planning While Living with an Abusive Partner
Identify places in the home that are safer- where there are no weapons or objects that can be used as weapons and there is access to an exit if you need to leave.

• If there are any children in the home, teach them to get out of the room where the abuse is occurring and to call 911 out of view of the person causing harm.
• If you drive, habitually back into your parking space.
• If you create a safety pack, hide it well, as knowledge of a safety pack will alert the abuser and put you in danger.

4. Safety Planning While Leaving

• You can request support from the police, as well as local support services
• Make a plan for what documents, and personally significant items that you want to take with you.
• Consider taking half of the shared funds with you, open a separate bank account, and put them in there. Document your spending if you are asked about it at a later date.
• Consider applying for a protection order (such as a Restraining Order or an Emergency Protection Order)
• Leaving an abusive relationship is statistically a time when people are more at risk for the violence to escalate.

5, Safety Planning if Left and Abusive Relationship

• If necessary, change your phone number and keep it on a private setting
• Vary your daily routine; where you shop, walk and spend time
• If possible, enhance the security of your home; change locks, install motion-detecting lights, ensure windows have locks, install security systems.
• Consider the pros and cons of informing your employer and having them engaged in your safety plan. The Occupational Health and Safety Act is meant to provide protection to workers who are survivors of domestic violence; however, this does not guarantee that you will not face discrimination as a result of disclosing.
• Save and document any contact with former partner
• If you have to meet your former partner do so in a public setting

An interactive safety plan is available.